Get Over It

I also hate this phrase, and never more than when it applies. I often tell myself this, and I resent myself for saying it. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Without Complaining or Arguing

About a year ago, my friend and I had to stay late at work because of some sort of mixup – I’ve completely forgotten what happened, which goes to show how trivial it was. What I do remember is that our Bible study that week had included the verse “do everything without complaining and arguing.” As my friend complained, I deadpanned the verse – and a few minutes later started snarkily complaining myself.*

I tell this story to acknowledge that the ability to “get over it” is a skill I’m still developing. There are times I instinctively react to situations by whining, and other times when I know the right choice, but I’m just so mad I make the wrong choice anyway. It’s a work in progress. But when I’m in a more admirable state of mind, the phrase “get over it” seems incredibly apt, for a few reasons:

1. There is something to get over.

I’m not talking about ‘getting through’ something. That is something different; it requires perseverance and is for things that are really bad and hard. It’s specifically getting “over” it that I’m talking about here – and that means, not getting through the problem, but getting past my initial emotional reaction to the problem. But I’m such a put-upon, great tragic romantic figure: besieged by the world, oppressed by the universe, and – well, get over it.

It’s never actually as bad as I make it out to be; the worst griefs aren’t the ones we complain about, because we don’t have energy to complain when things are really bad. If you get a papercut, it will sting, but if you get your arm ripped off, it won’t hurt; you’ll be in shock. That is the hurdle, then, that we need to get over – not the pain, but the self-importance. ‘Getting over it’ in the end always means getting over ourselves.

• You can fall down when you’re climbing.

This is why “over” is such an applicable word here – because it really is a climb, a great effort, to get past that reaction, and you can fall down while you’re climbing. I don’t know how many times I’ve started to respond to a problem in a mature way only to let my guard down and allow myself to fall back into petty self-pity. I don’t know how many times, as in the story I told before, I resolved to do the right thing and five minutes later was failing at it. It’s not a single victory; you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and if you stop moving you’ll start sliding backwards. But sooner or later, you do reach the other side. And that’s the best part, because:

• Getting over it makes you stronger.

Just as climbing a mountain strengthens the muscles you use to literally put one foot in front of the other, reacting in a mature way to problems flexes the spiritual, emotional, and mental muscles you need to gain perspective, responsibility, and maturity.

When I was little, I used to dream of heroic charges, fearless martyrdom, valiant last stands, and tragic destinies. Such things do exist. But the strength to live up to them comes from the ordinary moments. If we cannot be faithful in a little, how can we be faithful with much? If we can’t handle spending an extra forty-five minutes at work, or redoing a spreadsheet, or attending a zoom chat, without whining, how can God trust us with the heavier responsibilities of the church?

*As a side note: the ancient philosophers claimed men only chose to do wrong when they didn’t know better or didn’t have the will to do otherwise. But that’s just not true. I knew perfectly well I was acting directly contrary to my principles. And I won’t say I couldn’t help myself – I could have, if I’d wanted to. But the thing was, I didn’t want to.

Why is it so hard to, in the immortal words of Samwise Gamgee “just let it go!”? Why do we, like Frodo, instead clutch still tighter the thing that is killing us? The simple answer is: because we’re messed up. That is the answer Christianity gives as well – but it also says that we can be fixed.

“Baby boy crying sad mad” by alicegop is licensed with CC BY 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/